june 10th

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will discover that your manager was frequently taunted with a rubber chicken during his formative years. This will go a long ways towards explaining some of the things you'd been wondering about.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Good day to have some fun with fake fur and spirit gum. Now you can see what chest hair would really be like, or go for the "Madonna" look. Or you can simply opt for hairy palms -- that's always fun.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today is an excellent day to wink slyly at people, just as they are turning away. When they look back, smile innocently.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You'll accidentally eat one of those fried szechuan chili peppers today, and it will bring tears to your eyes. This will strike you as odd, given that you will be eating a ham sandwich at the time.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
People will tease you about wearing your golf shoes indoors. Don't you mind them, though -- they're undoubtedly just jealous.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
A creature from the 7th dimension will become attached to your leg, and will be impossible to remove. Eventually, you'll simply get used to it.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Secret society day, today. Don't join -- no matter how much you like the secret handshake. Also, good day to swear off pickles.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You are developing a strangely magnetic personality. Soon people you don't even know will begin hanging around with you, hoping for some small sign of your attention. Also, iron filings will begin sticking to the tip of your nose.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Uh oh. The cows have come home, and the fat lady is about to sing. Better come up with some new excuses, quick! You can do that while you're coping with the unpleasant result of the cows coming home.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Big career move today! Oddly, your decision will be somehow related to a pamphlet called "Goat Herding Made Easy."