Lyrics I'd like some feedback on please:)

There are about 17 songs I've written for the new cd that begins production in late JAN. I figure we will only use maybe 13 total so Im going to post a few songs and hopefully get all of your feedback on them so cutting a few out will be easier. Say what u feel as Im not sensitive to critisism:)


WHEN JENNY DIED

Poor little jenny...at 9 she tired of life
The demons haunt her..when mommy turned off the light
Trapped in her sorrow and pain sometimes she'd feel so alone
Tonight the Darkness..It came to carry her home

So they slapped on some makeup...put a smile on her face
Dressed her in satin with a pillow of lace
And they told her mother she was in a better place...but they lied
When Jenny died

Voices inside her..they'd whisper "all hope is gone"
sometimes she'd wonder just why she ever was born..
scars on her body and soul matched the scars on her mind
A child of Darkness..forever lost to the night

so they slapped on some makeup..put a smile on her face
Dressed her in satin with a pillow of lace
and they told her mother she was in a better place...but they lied
When Jenny died

actually based on a true story of a little girl who was left in a virtual house of horrors by a faulty welfare system who couln't see the signs of obvious abuse. The girl committed suicide at 9 in order to escape the suffering of life at home

dont make me cry!

deep lyrix i was moved. really

My feedback is quite simple, but honest.
The song is very deep and meaningful, the kind of song I personally like very much.
Regarding the lyrics, they are intense and very upsetting. but real. Let it be in the cd, it'll be a success. very good taste =), go for it!

Give us more lyrics to give a feedback =)